Hurdles....

So this week so far as been a weird one for me, and it doesn't have anything to do with the election. There is something inside that is screwing me up, not physically but mentally. I can't explain what I am felling but it feels likes a light inside me has been dimmed. Everyone that knows me knows I am outgoing and like to smile and am very personable. But this week I have not been myself, I feel run down and totally unmotivated. I don't know if its work, financial, or just straight up laziness trying to get its hands on me. I am lost and confused of why I feel like this. I feel like I am just coasting staying on the same track, no twists, no turn, no up or downs. Just a straight path to i don't know where. I no god has a plan for me and gives me these hurdles to jump over, but right now I am just running head on to these hurdles and have no urge to jump. I have no answer for this and i am hoping that it will run its course. I just don't want it to affect my job or my training for my run in January, and as of right now it kind of is... All I can do is ask god to give me the strength to overcome this.

Stand by Me...

So I know I haven't written here in awhile and I know I have some people that are considered that I have lost sight of my goal. What I say to those people... you are right. I am not going to lie to you. I know I havent been myself and I know why In my head I didn't think I had lost sight of my goal, but deep down in my heart of hearts I knew that I had. I started feeling content with the progress that I had already made. I felt beat in a sense. And when I say beat, I mean I beat myself. I lost my drive somewhere and I dont know how to get it back. It saddens me to think that I have lost heart, that I am starting to become lazy again. I can only think that I am going to slip back into what I was and that scares me. I never want to be that person again, that person that has no drive and no pride in himself. So this is a declaration that I am getting myself back on the path, even if it takes blood, sweat or tears. I maybe 35 years old but I have a whole life of happiness in front of me and I dont wanna miss any of it. So here it is.... I have 3 months before I run in the Disney Marathon, so starting right now, no more fast food, no more cold drinks, and more working out. Also I will dedicate my life to my job and strive to be the best for a great company and brand. I promise this to all of you out there that care and wanna know what I am going through. If you wanna stand by me on my journey I would love the company. If not, get you ass out of my way I have a race to win....

I am proud of you...

There have been a lot of people that told me I am hard on myself and I am pushing myself to hard. At times I think I am but then I remember why I am doing this. Yes, I have finally figured out why I going through this journey and why I am pushing myself so hard. It is for my grandfather. I am dying to lose this weight so that for once I can hear some words from my grandfather that I have been wanting to hear for years. I would love to look into his eyes and hear him say "Michael, I am so proud of you."  To some people they are use to hearing that, but me I feel like I have never heard that from the man I admire the most. And I am dying to finally give him a reason to tell me that. Growing up I wasn't the best kid and as I got older I didn't make the best decisions. I did a lot of things that I know he did not approve of, and I know a lot of times I let him down. For instance the time I was arrested for a DWI or when I got a divorce only after 6 months. I have jumped from job to job saying that I have found the perfect job, only to have give up and quit. I tend to have the habit of giving up easy  and not really trying. And I think deep down he knows that, he knows that a lot of times I am all talk. You see for along time he was the only male figure in my life, until I started spending time with my dad(who I love so much). My mom and I lived with grandfather and grandmother, so growing up he was the man in my life the most. He is the one who tried to teach me life lessons and tried to guide me on the right path. He tried his hardest and was always be there if I needed him. But the thing is I didn't listen, I thought I could do it my way. I was so hard headed and I thought I knew more then he knew. I took him and his wisdom for granted, and because of that look at were I am now. I am 35 years old working in retail part time, delivering pizza for my families pizza place, and I dont have a pot to piss in. (pardon my french but that is the only term I have ever heard to best explain) I live from pay check to pay check and hoping I make enough to get by. Sometimes I even have to go to this great man and ask him for money. I have to ask him to give up his hard earned money so that I can get by because I didn't listen to him growing up. So showing him that I can finish something that I start is going to make him so proud of me. When he hears that I finished a half marathon I know he will be proud. His love and words mean so much to me. I cant express how much it would mean to me to hear him say those words. I know that I will hear those words I am determined to make him proud of me. It was him that gave me a great heart and drive to be the best I can be. And know I am finally using that drive to better my life for myself, my family and the people I love. Thank you DaDa for everything you have ever done for me. I will make you proud of your first grandson. I promise you. I know I cant fail with you pushing me and the spirit of my grandmother in me. Yall have done so much for me and my mom that I wanna give you pride in your grandson... I love you so much and thank you

Gonzo out

My One Question...

So today at work I was talking to this over weight couple about buying a fuel band. I was telling them how it is such a great tool for motivation and creates a drive that most people have been missing. I told them about my journey and how the fuel band is one of the tools that has helped me during my journey. The one question the lady asked me was what made me jump start this journey. What was the spark that caused me to change what I have been for years. At first I just started to tell her that working for Nike really motivates you and makes you wanna be healthy and more athletic.  Especially when there are people there that can run 6 minute miles, and people that go play basketball everyday. She smiled and said "yeah that can do it, that would get me up and going." I laughed and smiled and then sold them a fuel band. I hope they use it and see results. Even if they dont change their diets, and try to lose weight. I just want them to give walking a chance. To just go out and hit the pavement of their neighborhood. Even if it is only for 30 minutes it is something.

But I have to say that the question she asked me has still be running through my head all day long. I mean did I start all this because of someone I love. Did I do it because I was tired of being a joke with my friends. Did I do it to motivate other obese people to change. I keep asking myself this question. And then I ask why now, why am I starting this now, so late in the game. And I honestly dont know why. I can assume I know, but I dont. Its killing me that I can answer this question. I mean I can sit here and say I want a healthier life. I wanna be athletic for my future kids. I wanna be an example that it can be done, if you just try. I really dont know. So why I dont know. Maybe it will come to me soon, cause if not it is just gonna rattle around in my brain and drive me crazy......

Gonzo out...

Its RedRhino time...

So I know that I havent blogged in a while.. yes folks I am still here. Last week was my birthday week so I kind of got a little distracted. Not only did I get distracted here but I also got distracted from my diet and my workouts. I hate the feeling that I get when I do that, but I know I can feel that way. I mean really it was my birthday week. I know that is not an excuse and excuses are evil to a fat person. Excuses are one of the main reasons that fat person stays fat or doesnt wanna change. So I am done with the excuses. Nothing should stop me from hitting my goals or nothing should stand in my way of becoming the new me. I have made a promise to myself to become a RedRhino. I know you are all asking what is a RedRhino. When it was brought to me from Jason Lester that it was time to become a RedRhino, I had to ask him what it meant.

Rhino’s never look to the left or right — always straight at their target. It’s in your DNA to achieve greatness. You will hurt. You will suffer. You must sacrifice. – and – not many will understand. Look straight and NEVER.STOP! -Jason Lester

So my new out look on my journey is gonna be like a RedRhino. I have my eye on the prize and nothing is going to get in my way. I know it is going to be hard work, and I know there are times I am gonna wanna not go workout. I am going to have to just stay straight on my path. I have to do this, I have made a commitment to myself and if I do stay straight then I will let myself down. That is one thing I am tired of doing. I have let myself down most of my life. Said I was going to do something and I didnt do it. I have lied to people and myself. I cant do this anymore. This is why it is RedRhino time... Stick with everyone and we can do it together. Become your own RedRhino and keep your eyes forward until you reach that finish line.

Gonzo Out

Milestones in life...

As some of you may now know I have hit my first milestone of this journey. I weighed in on Tuesday night and I weighed in at 298lbs. Yes folks that means that I am under 300lbs. I have to tell you that upon seeing that scale, I wanted to jump up and down and scream to the world. I have never felt so good in my life, to know that I earned something that I worked so hard for. The drive home all I could say to myself was I did it, I did it. I have never been felled with some my pride in my life. I don't think I have accomplished such a big hurdle ever in my life. I wish I could bottle the feeling I had and hand it to every obese person and show them what is going to feel like when you just work hard. That they can do it, to maybe give them the drive that I have. Another feeling I had was knowing that by losing this weight I have added years to my life. I am so proud of myself. I am feel some accomplished. To know that I use to say I will never be under 300lbs, that I could never do this. That I was just accepting the fact that I was gonna be fat for the rest of my life. That is no more, I now know that I can do it. I can reach my other goals, and I know that I will make it. I know that I will help inspire anyone that needs it. To tell other obese people that they can have the feeling I have right now. It can be done you just have to set a goal and try. Remember Greatness is Earning something you have worked so hard for...

I am Mike Gonzales I am 35 years old and I no longer weigh 300lbs...


Gonzo Out

My promise to you all...

So 3 days away from turning 35 and being under 300. One of these great things is making me happy and the other is depressing me. Being under 300 sounds so great it is such a great accomplishment. It will make feel the happiest that I have felt in a very long time. Now turning 35 well that is a real fucking downer. If you asked me a long time ago I would have told you that I would have to have been married maybe a child or 2 and have a career. But instead I am over weight, no wife, no kids and working part time at 3 jobs. Not really that greatest place to be at 35. If you really think about it is fucking sad. I have nothing to my name, living from pay check to pay check, and owes money to our great government. Now I am not asking you to feel sorry for me or am I trying to feel pity for myself. I am just calling it like I see it, everyday. Sometimes I have my good days. Then there are the days that I have to pretend I am happy go luck Mike that everyone loves to be around. Believe me it gets fucking tiring that I have to put on this fake facade. Now don't get me wrong not everyday is like that, but I do have those days. At times that bad out weigh the good. But that is life and we have to keep pushing forward. I really have no one to blame but myself, but I do have to also put some of it on my obesity. Being obese can almost suck the life out of you, you get tired really easy, you sometimes lose your will to even get out of bed. I have slept days away or just sat on the couch and did nothing. Called in sick to work when I wasn't even sick, just because my fat ass didn't want to get up or even go outside the house. Being obese just tears you down, it not only a physical strain but also a mental strain. It makes you become someone or something you aren't. It changes everything about you, makes you hide your real self it destroys your drive to be someone. It makes you just give up on life, makes you settle. Do you think I wanna settle working 3 part time jobs. Do you think I wanna settle for being unhappy everyday. I wanna be great, I wanna do things that I have always dreamed of doing. I wanna feel free from the chains of being obese. So I swear to all of you that read this and care, and to myself. That this time next birthday I will not be fat, I will have a career and even possibly engaged to a great women. And I will have made a mark in someone life. You can print this out and keep it so in a year from now you can either call me a failure or a success.....

This was me birthday in 2011, I will put up a picture from 2012 so that we may compare the year. And in 2013 I hope that I will look nothing like this fat guy

Gonzo out........

Damn Right I am...

   So his week is over and he new is about to begin. I know I had my ups and downs this week.Some of  you all told me that I might be being a little hard on myself. I may and I may not be. But I know for 10 years I have not been hard on myself and it lead to me getting to 380 lbs. That is 20 lbs from 400 lbs. You dont know how hard it is to look down at the scale and see 380. An know that 60% of your body is made of fat. Seeing that number, there where times I just started crying in the bathroom. Feeling worthless and pathetic. It broke me down. It made my mood change, it made me think I was a waste of space. It made me question "why am I here"? " Why is this happening to me"? "What did I do to deserve this?" I got so depressed that I hid it from everyone that is important to me. I shut down emotionally and just went through my day.On the outside I was me, on the inside I felt like a lifeless zombie I got to the point that I didn't care about myself anymore. I just decided not to care. So, am I being hard on myself. Damn right I am. I don't hide anymore, I want to care, and I want to be the best that I can me. I wanna live again. So you see I have to, if I don't then all of this is a waste of time.I know that some of ya'll said that out of love and support for me, but know do you understand why I am hard. I love and  want the support that everyone is giving me. I so want that support and need it. I need to hear that I am doing a great job, that I am inspiring people like me to do the same thing. I love hearing damn Mike you are looking good. But deep inside of myself I have push myself harder and harder everyday. If I don't accomplish the goal I set for that day, I know deep down in my heart that I have let myself down. Remember what they say, we are our hardest critic. There is only one person that is gonna change me, and that is me...
   So on a good note, and I wanna leave ya'll on a good not. I lost 2 pounds this week. I did say earlier this week I was aiming for 10, but yet I only lost 2. Now I know 2 pounds is great and its 2 pounds that I don't have anymore and yes my new jeans I bought 2 weeks ago are starting to fit a little loose. So I know I am losing inches. So with that I can not be to upset with myself. This week I am not gonna set my goal so high. I am aiming for 5 pounds and working out 2 times a day. Hit the gym in the morning and hit the road at night. I believe deep down I can do this. I am also trying a new vitamin regimen that will try to help me give me the energy I need to get through my day. I am still on pace and still driving to be under 300 before or on my 35th  birthday. And if ya'll do not know my birthday is August 8th so I have 10 days to drop 5 pounds. Wish me look cause I really, really want this. I will tell you when it happens and how it feels...

Thank yall for everything, but yet no one is following me yet. I need followers so that I can get my words out to help inspire others.

Goodnight
Gonzo

I am a Failure

Failure is defined as an omission of occurrence or performance. There are many failures one can encounter. And I think that I have encountered a lot of them. I have failed at being healthy, I have failed at a marriage, I have failed my family and friends and I have failed at different careers. I know when I have failed in the past I felt like I was letting people that cared about me down. Like I was disappointing them in away. But the truth is the only person I was letting down was myself, I was disappointing myself. Sometimes failure just finds you. Like today for example, I woke up ready to hit the gym had my protein shake and was ready sat on the couch and that is where I stayed until it was time to go to lunch with my mom, grandfather and uncle. In my head I told myself I would go workout after lunch, but did I... Nope. I sat my happy fat ass on the couch and played video games; until Erin came over to hang out. So I said "Mike you will go on a nice night run to end your day". But did I NOPE, NO I didn't. So what happened to me today, why did I do this to myself. And I really have no answer for it. I feel like I failed myself, like once again I feel like a failure. I have felt like a failure so much in my life and am so tired of feeling that way. It is probably one of the worst feelings one could have. I let myself down. I know what a lot of ya'll will be saying "Mike, it was only one day, its ok that you missed on day." You know how many times I have said that to myself in the past. The answer to that question is a lot, more than you think. So to all my readers out there I am sorry for failing you today. I just know tomorrow I have to make up for it. Like I said before #NEVERSTOP, and I promise you I am not going to.

What I wanna know to all my readers is tell me about a time you overcame failure and how it felt. I would love to hear from all of you to understand who is going on this journey with me. I thank yall for taking time out to support me...

Gonzo

Being Gonzo...: "I Can't"...

Being Gonzo...: "I Can't"...: You know how you always say "don't say you can't". Well you no it is easier said then done. I know from experience that when your fat, "I ca...

"I Can't"...

You know how you always say "don't say you can't". Well you no it is easier said then done. I know from experience that when your fat, "I can't" is a saying that just rolls off your tongue. Whether it be I can't make it to the gym today, or I just can't say no to fast food. Most the time it isnt a body thing it is more like a mental thing. Its not your body saying "I can't" its your mind. Its like all the fat cells in your body and your want for food takes over I know a time that I remember I said "I can't".
My family all went to Hawaii for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. I mean the whole family was there. So anyway some cousins and I decided to go on a hike and climb Diamond Head. It sounded fun at the time, but if you think about it a 300+ guy climbing up a mountain is not a great idea. Well about 3/4 of the way up I mean really close to the summit, I had to stop. Mentally I really didn't think I could make it so I decided that I couldn't finish the climb. Its not like it is a hard climb either I mean they have a path and stairs that lead to the top. I told myself "I can't" do this, "I can't" go any further. My weakness won over my will to say I did it. So what did I do, I did what I always did. I blamed it on a knee problem I didn't have. I used to always blame my knee as if I had surgery on it or something. There were times that it really did hurt, but that was because I am fat; and I was carrying about 200 pounds more than I should have. I don't know why I did it either I know I could have made it. It was like I got it in my head I kept coming up with reasons why I couldn't go on. Like my mind was shutting down and giving up, even when I was so close. I do think I could explain it anymore than just plain giving up. Getting beat by myself, not my body. It wasn't my body shutting down, it was my mind.
Fat people all around the world give reasons why they cant get up and go work out. Why they cant just walk up and down the block for an hour. Why they can't just get on a treadmill for 30 to 60 minutes on a slow walk. The first words out of their mouths are always "I can't" followed by the excuse. My knees hurt, I don't have time, I wouldn't know where to start, and I know there are countless more. I know because I have used them all. Every single excuse there is I have used. And now that I look back on it I am ashamed of myself. And now that shame drives me, it drives me to say "I can". "I can" make it to the gym, "I can" run another mile. I dont wanna give up. I wanna keep going till my body give up, til I can run anymore. That way I know I gave it my best and I didnt get beat by my mind.
So get up off that couch and go walk for 30 minutes. Park as far as you can from the mall and walk the extra distance. Every little step counts. You dont have to start drastic kill yourself at the gym or the on the treadmill. Start small and work your way up. That is how I started and know I get sense of satisfaction of going to the gym or running that extra mile. So try not saying "I can't" and just give it a try. And once you start I know you will NEVER STOP...

If you have any comments or questions feel free to talk about them here, dont be afraid. I am here to help. I have been there and I am still here. My journey has just begun, and I am never gonna stop until I am truly happy with myself and the world I have created for myself. So please talk to me, I can help you and you know you can probably help me... Just try

NEVER STOP...

If you dont know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else...

                                                              Yogi Berra...

Today starts a new week for me, a week that I am going to change up my workout to try to get off this damn plateau. Last week I only lost 2 pounds and didn't go running as much as I wanted to. I know I worked a lot and was tired, but that is not a good excuse of why didn't. I know I could have made more time to get out to the gym or the road. I just didn't, there is no excuse why i didnt. So in a way I let myself down a little bit. I know what you are gonna say, "hey you are allowed a off week, and hey man you lost 2 pounds that is good". Well to me it is not good, it kind of depressed me a little bit. Made me feel like I was failing myself by not getting up and doing what I promised myself I would do. That feeling is a hard feeling to deal with. I know I can't let it get me down. I just have to use it to have a better week. I can promise you that I will have a lot better week. I will be working out hard and hoping that I can see a 10 pound week. I know I am shooting high but I have to set a goal. I will let you know what I do. I know in my heart of hearts this is going to be a great week...

On the plus side this week. I received a tweet from Jason Lester a Nike athlete that through Nike is going to make the world a better place. Lester found the Never Stop Foundation, which aims to use athletics to teach its young participants how to think creatively about their lives. I got the pleasure to meet him at Nike Dallas when he was on his Journey for a Better Run. That journey sent him running and biking 4,800 miles across the United States. While his journey he was spreading the Nike message that a better world starts with sports. Meeting him and hearing his story inspired me to start my own journey and change my life. This is the tweet that was sent between me and him. 

Mike Gonzales ‏@mdgonzo8877

@jasonlester meeting you has inspired me to change my life, please check out my journey to be better http://beinggonzo.blogspot.com #makeabetterworld

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21 JulJASON ( 5 ) LESTER ‏@jasonlester

@mdgonzo8877 -- Meeting you has inspire me to NEVER STOP inspiring others. Write it all down. Show yourself who you want to BE!#NEVERSTOP

By doing this I am  trying to inspire people to do the same way while I am on mine. It does start with a commitment to yourself. By making that commitment to yourself you will be the only person you will be letting down if you dont complete or try. 

Like Jason says NEVERSTOP and never give up......

IF YOU HAVE A BODY...........

IF YOU HAVE A BODY YOU ARE AN ATHLETE...........BILL BOWERMAN

What does that statement mean to you?

When most people think of an athlete they think of the people they see on TV. On the field, on the court, or on the track. The truth is, being an athlete starts inside of you. It starts with heart, with a passion, with a drive to better yourself everyday. For years I knew there was drive in me. I knew I had what it took to lose weight, to become healthy, and to better my life. When I started working at Nike and I learned this statement I thought to myself, "There is now way he could be talking to me, there is no way that I could ever be an athlete." So I said that statement over and over in my head, the more I said it the more I started to believe. The more I wanted to be become an athlete. To know that I can go compete. I may not be competing with other people, but I can compete with myself. To push myself to run and hit the gym everyday. To build a passion within me, and to better myself from the inside out. Feeling this way has totally changed the way I see myself. I look at my days more positive, like everyday is a challenge and I wanna win. It makes me feel that I can accomplish anything and actually see myself as a winner. You know how long it has been since I have felt that way, well I know it was high school. That was the last time I saw myself in a positive light, that I looked forward to the day. For all of you that dont know I graduated from high school in 1995. That is 17 years of not having a drive or having a passion. I ask myself, "why the hell has it taken me so long to better myself." That is a question I dont know the answer to, sitting here thinking I really dont know the answer to that question. I do know one thing, I have that drive now and that passion to better my life, to be a better person, to be an ATHLETE...

So for the update, I am about 6 pounds away from being under 300. I think back and the last time I was under 300 was probably around 2006. So for six years I have been 300+. And that is way to long. My runs are starting to get longer and stamina is growing. I never thought that I would be able to go run 4 miles and not be miserable, but I can. I really can. On august 8th I will be 35 years old, 5 years until I am 40. I dont have alot to show for it, but I do know that this year I will be giving myself the best birthday present. That present will be, being able to say that I do not weight 300 pounds. I know when I step on that scale and it says 299 I will be emotional. I know that I will shed tears, but I deserve it...

Thank you Bill Bowerman

GONZO

Not a good time in my life...

So a lot of people that are reading my blog have know idea who I really am or what I am all about. So I am going to slowly tell you about me and why I have started this journey.  My name is Mike Gonzales and like I said before I have been fat 3/4 of my life. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I don"t blame anyone or anything for me being fat. The only person I blame is myself. I did this to myself and I am the only one that can undo this. The reason I blame myself is because no one forced fed me, no one made me drink as much beer as I used to drink, and no one talked me out of going to the gym. there were times in my life were I felt totally depressed. Depressed about how my life wasn't going anywhere, so I turned to food and alcohol. Going to bars every night and drinking as much beer and taking as many shots as I could till the bar told us to go home. Then I would go to Whataburger for a double cheese burger, large fry, large Dr. Pepper and two tequitos for the drive home. And that was pretty much every night for the longest of times. When I say a longest of times I mean years of my life were wasted in a bar trying to drink my problems away. As people know, you can drink your problems away for the night, but guess what the next morning not only are you hungover but your problems are also still there. It wasnt a good  way to live, I know I did some bad things and I know I probably have hurt alot of peoples feelings, but at the time I really didnt care. Now I know that what I did was horrible. I really hated myself back then, but you would never know cause I knew how to hide it with my personality. Now looking back I realize I wasted alot of my life being stupid and doing stupid things. It really makes me sad when I look back on my life and there is nothing there. Wasted time, wasted money, and gained a shit load of weight. The more weight I gained the more depressed I would get, the more depressed I got the more I would drink. I hated myself back then. I am glad I am not that person anymore...

This is the first part of who I am and why I have started this journey to change my life. There will be more to come I promise...

Gonzo

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life

Today wasn't my best day, and I know I am going to have days like this. I didn't workout or did I go on my night run. I kept telling myself that I need to, I just couldn't get off the couch. My drive today just wasn't there, I don't knows what my problem was, but I just couldn't get going. I am stuck at a plateau and feel like no matter how hard I workout I cant get over this hump. Maybe that is why I feel like I am in a funk. Hopefully, I will get over it. I need to I really need to
Someone actually wrote me a comment today on one of my post and it made me feel good that I reached someone. Someone who has gone through the same problems I have. She has fought her battles with weight loss and weight gain. How an employer told her she would find more success in her job if she was skinny. Who tells that to a person? "Oh hey, I was gonna give you a raise but I cant you are fat." That is discrimination if I have ever seen it. But you know what I have been there. There are jobs that I didnt get and in my mind all I could think was "I didnt get that job because I am fat." It might be true and it might not I will never know. But in my mind it was.I felt D's pain and sadness in her story, and I wanna help her and be there for her if she needs someone to talk to. It was great that she could open up to me and share with me her story. This is what I wanna do, I wanna not only help myself but also help people fighting the same problem as myself. Cause being fat is a problem, it is not just bad habits and being lazy. Its a problem that can not be fought alone. There has to be encouragement. The encouragement has to come from people who feel their, pain who know what they are going through. Its easy for someone who is not addicted to some say stop, it is harder for them to stop if they knew how hard it is......... Thank you D for sharing your story with me

Have a good night all, it is bed time
Gonzo

 Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!-Rocky Balboa

Skinny people aren't fat...

So today I have got a lot of comments on my post, I appreciate all the kind words of encouragement. It is what people need when they wanna change. So today I was watching this show about people being over weight and doing something about it. I really didnt understand why a skinny person is telling a fat person how to be skinny. That skinny person has no idea what it is like to be fat. Yeah it is easy to say go work out, go walk the park, and eat different. When walking down a flight of stairs makes you lose your breath you fear working out. When your knees hurt with every step you take walking is not fun, and most of it feels you with pain. And to all the sudden stop eating the things that make you happy is hard for a person to give up. What I am saying is someone who has never been fat can not say it is a simple as going for a walk, cause it is not.... Also when reading this dont be afraid to follow me or sharing my link with people. I wanna hear from people, I wanna hear about their challenges and how they overcome them. I wanna help fat people change themselves and find something that makes them happy......

I am tired of being FAT.................... My name is Mike Gonzales and I am fat, I have been this way for about 3/4 of my life. Let me tell you it has not been fun. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever broken a sweat or got winded trying to tie your shoe? Are you scared to get on a airplane, cause you are afraid you will have to ask for a seat belt extender? Have you ever gone to a sporting event and left with bruises on your outer thighs, because you cant fit in the seats?  Do you laugh when your friends make jokes about you being fat, because it easier to laugh than cry?Well let me tell you something I HAVE, and believe you me it is no way to live your life. It is actually really sad, and people don't realize how hard life is when you are fat. Now understand me on this I am not looking for a pity party, but to inform people what it is like to be fat. People say " I don't know how you have let yourself go like you have". Its easy, when you are fat you stop caring, you lose all sense of a drive to be a better person. People say fat people are lazy, we aren't lazy we just aren't happy. And when you aren't happy you have no pride in yourself so you don't do anything about it. As a fat person I can tell you that when you do not have pride in yourself, you dont believe that you can ever change yourself. You believe that you will gain nothing from going out and working out or changing the way you eat. I still believe this sometimes, even though I am working out more and more. I believe that I will never have the pride in myself that I once had. I dont know how I will ever regain that but I have to try.....

I am starting this blog because I need somewhere to talk about what I am going through. Maybe to get  people to get behind me in my journey to change my life. Maybe it will help inspire other people that are tired of being fat to change. I will start by saying I AM FAT... and I know deep down I am not happy. Five months ago I weighed in at 380 lbs. The most I have ever weighed. I was wearing a 54 inch waist and should have been wearing 3XL-4XL shirts. But when you are fat you try to squeeze into a 52 inch waist and 2XL shirts, some reason in our minds it fits; but in the eyes of others it is just a fat person wearing sizes to small. As of now I am weighing in at 315lbs and wearing a 48 inch waist. I AM Fat